Dawn of Shadows and Heartache
by Leopard Spirits
Summary: Jaykit was the weakest of the kits, the shortest and the only rouge-born in Clan history. She is teased, and treated differently by others. Whether it is pity, or scorn. But only one cat in the Clan treats her with respect, but is there more to their friendship? Or is Jaykit destined for loneliness.
1. The Apprentice

_Dawn of Shadows and Heartache_

_Chapter One: The Apprentice_

* * *

Dawn sunlight filtered the dens shadows, lightening spirits of all cats that slept peacefully in their nests. Birdsong filled the air, and warriors crossed across the Clans Camp, following patrol orders from the deputy, Whitefire.

Jaykit blinked open her eyes, and gazed around the nursery. The den was empty, but nests were scattered across the ground. She figured the others had already gone out to play, and she was supposed to join them. Jaykit rose to her paws, tail kinked in the air with excitement. What were they doing today?

Jaykit trotted out of the nursery, paws itching to explore though she continued forwards and towards the other kits, and her sister. At least, Jaykit liked to think of her as her sister. Jaykit was rouge born, and adopted by Featherwisp when she was brought into the Clan. Featherwisp already had another kit of the same age, Winterkit, and wanted to help out Jaykit as well. Jaykit enjoyed the thought of a family, unlike which she had before. They had abandoned her, and left her to die. But ShadeClan had luckily found Jaykit just in time, before she had starved and brought her to Camp.

Jaykit dashed over to Winterkit happily, ready to begin playing. "What are we doing today?" She asked her half-sister. "Ravenpaw's showing us some stuff he learned today," Winterkit replied in a low voice, while she gazed expectantly up at the muscular solid black tom that prowled along the ground, presenting a proper hunting position.

Jaykit nodded, and watched Ravenpaw, eyes glazing over with interest. She dropped to the ground and into a crouch, following the young apprentices' every move. He shot upright suddenly, and grinned. Jaykit sat up straight, almost stumbling backwards. "Cool!" Jaykit exclaimed. Ravenpaw's gaze slowly fell on Jaykit, and he tipped his head.

"I didn't see you coming over," He acknowledged.

"Yeah! Shouldn't you still be in the _nursery__?_" Another kit taunted. "Spiderkit!" Ravenpaw snapped, glancing towards the tom who had spoken out.

Jaykit ignored Ravenpaw, and growled. "I'm five moons old, mouse-brain!" She retorted, standing taller. She puffed out her chest, and raised her muzzle.

"Sure you are, rouge. You're too small to be three moons, nonetheless five!" Spiderkit pressed. Jaykit's ears flattened against her head, and she hissed, teeth bared and small kit legs shaking. She knew she was smaller, but she tried her best to forget it.

"Spiderkit. Stop. I mean it," Ravenpaw hissed under his breath, voice low. Spiderkit snorted, and stalked away, beckoning for his friends Rowankit and Smokekit to follow. "What a weakling, she can't stand up for herself," Spiderkit's faint mutter was still audible from where Jaykit stood.

"Just ignore them, Jaykit," Winterkit shrugged.

_How could I? Was there any way?_

"Are you alright?" Ravenpaw asked, eyes narrowing.

"I...I'm fine." Jaykit murmured, and her eyes met with the solid black toms'. He stopped abruptly, whipping around. "Well, I've got to go on the noon patrol." He mumbled before padding away to the group of warriors that were already parting out of Camp.

_Thank you,_ Jaykit thought to herself, watching him leave. Without Ravenpaw helping, Jaykit didn't think they would have stopped.

* * *

Jaykit stretched in her nest, pondering. It was late, and she couldn't stop thinking about what Spiderkit had said. Was she really weak? Did she look like she was two moons old?

His taunts echoed in her head, but what stood out most of all was the muscular apprentice who helped her. _I need to personally thank him some day._

"Hey, Jaykit," Winterkit piped up into her ear, causing her to jerk back into reality. "Huh? What is it?" Jaykit asked.

"What did you think of Ravenpaw?" Winterkit asked with a grin. "What do you mean?" Jaykit asked, she wasn't sure what her "sister" wanted her to answer. _  
_

"Well, I mean, do you think he's handsome?" Winterkit asked.

"Um...Sure? I-"

"And he's so strong. You know?"

"Winterkit, what are you-"

"And the way he looked at me-"

"Winterkit! What are you saying?" Jaykit asked. Winterkit stopped abruptly, and shook her head. "It's nothing you would understand," She murmured and curled up in her nest. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Jaykit snapped, fur bristling. Winterkit only groaned before she fell asleep.

Jaykit frowned, and turned in the opposite direction. She tucked her muzzle under her tail and hummed to herself softly. She understood some of what Winterkit had said, but she didn't dare react. She didn't know what that would mean. Jaykit shut her eyes, and fell asleep to her own humming._  
_


	2. Envious

**Two chapters in one day! Yay. **

**I enjoyed writing the first chapter, so I continued. Heh...**

* * *

_Dawn of Shadows and Heartache_

_Chapter Two: Envious_

* * *

Jaykit woke to the sounds of squealing and tussling. She blinked open her eyes at once, and leaped to her paws. She scrambled out of the den, being the only one inside, again.

She scampered over to the kits that crowded Camp. Ravenpaw groomed his fur nearby, watching Winterkit with one eye while she tried to show him her hunting crouch. Jaykit felt her heart drop when she noticed the smile that crept onto Ravenpaw's face when Winterkit slipped. Jaykit didn't know why she felt that way, but she managed to push the feeling away and pad over to Ravenpaw.

"Hey, Jaykit," Ravenpaw greeted her, abruptly stopping his grooming.

"I wanted to thank you," Jaykit meowed curtly, "About yesterday."

"What about yesterday?" A sly grin appeared on Ravenpaw's face.

"Spiderkit," Jaykit mumbled softly, her ears flattening as his insults began to echo in her head again.

Ravenpaw shrugged. "Don't mention it. He was just being rude, and I had to help,"

Jaykit felt flushed. He really _had_ done nothing special. "Oh. Okay." She murmured softly and padded away.

* * *

Later that day, Jaykit trotted out of the nursery and over to Winterkit. She peered around some bushes and towards her 'sister'. "Winterkit?" She asked, slipping over to the white and silver she-cats side.

"Hmm?" She asked, glancing over to Jaykit.

"What _do_ you think about Ravenpaw?" She asked intently, ears perking. Winterkit shrugged, and dug her rubbery claws into the soil. "I think he's nice," She answered mildly.

Jaykit nodded, and glanced towards Ravenpaw. "We're six moons tomorrow, you know?" She whispered.

"Yeah, I know. And so are Spiderkit, Smokekit and Rowankit." Winterkit replied. Jaykit's heart lurched, and she scowled. "Mmm," She muttered and glanced out of the bushes. Winterkit suddenly exploded from the undergrowth, and dashed over to a stump. She leaped up to the top, and grinned. "Let's play a game! Jaykit and I verse Ravenpaw," She declared matter-o-factly. Jaykit grinned and padded over, sitting down on her haunches at the bottom of the stump. Winterkit pounced down, and crouched down onto the ground. Her haunches wriggled in the air as she slowly prowled forward and towards Ravenpaw who was speaking softly with his friends.

She suddenly leaped forwards, and sunk her rubbery claws into his hind legs. The apprentice flung upwards, slightly frightened. Jaykit crouched down to the ground, and crept closer to Ravenpaw. She slid under him, and through his legs. She batted his chest and stomach, grinning to herself. Ravenpaw fell to the ground dramatically, realizing this was a game. He made sure he didn't fall onto Jaykit and Winterkit, and wriggled on the ground playfully.

Winterkit scrabbled across his fur, slipping and sliding all over the place. She kneaded her paws on his stomach, and curled up on top of him. She shut her eyes, and pretended to sleep. "This is _so_ comfortable," She acknowledged and spread out her body, legs splayed out so that she almost matched his size.

Ravenpaw purred, and nosed her head. Jaykit felt her heart lurch, but she couldn't understand why. She prodded Ravenpaw's hind leg, and nudged him. "Hey, Ravenpaw, would you be my friend?" She asked.

"I thought I was already your friend," Ravenpaw smirked.

Jaykit beamed. "I never had a friend before,"

"I thought Winterkit was your friend." Ravenpaw murmured.

"She's my _'sister'_." Jaykit replied.

"Oh. Well, then," Ravenpaw paused, and glanced down to Winterkit. She had opened her eyes, and was slipping off of Ravenpaw. The apprentice nudged Winterkit. "You should go sleep, Winterkit, you seem tired." Ravenpaw whispered to her, and rose to his paws. "I better go," He meowed and trotted off to the apprentice den. Jaykit watched him go, before turning back to Winterkit. "Come on," She murmured to her 'sister' and headed to the nursery.

* * *

"May all cats old enough to catch prey gather beneath Autumn Oak for a Clan meeting," A voice rang through Camp, waking Jaykit with a jolt. She jerked to her paws, and nudged Winterkit who slept peacefully beside her. "Wake up! I think it's our ceremony," She hissed softly. Winterkit groaned and rolled over, pawing at the air before she opened her eyes. Jaykit grinned, and gazed around the nursery, seeing that she wasn't the last one out anymore. She scrambled to her paws, and padded out of the den, Winterkit on her tail. She padded over to the crowd of cats surrounding Autumn Oak, and made her way over to Ravenpaw. Winterkit shuffled in between Ravenpaw and Jaykit, and cuddled up next to the young apprentice.

The leader, Leafstar, waited for the Clan to settle down before continuing. "Spiderkit, Smokekit, Rowankit, Winterkit and Jaykit please step up." She yowled.

The five kits all swiveled to the front of the crowd, Winterkit straying behind a bit to whisper something to Ravenpaw. Jaykit didn't pay attention and crawled over to Leafstar.

"Spiderkit, Smokekit, Rowankit, Winterkit and Jaykit. You have all reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you all to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you all receive your warrior name, you will be known as Spiderpaw, Smokepaw, Rowanpaw, Winterpaw and Jaypaw. Spiderpaw, your mentor will be Fireblaze. Smokepaw, your mentor will be Mistypetal. Rowanpaw, your mentor will be Flareglaze. Winterpaw, your mentor will be myself. And Jaypaw, your mentor will be Creekshade.

The Clan is dismissed." Leafstar yowled and leaped down from Autumn Oak and to her den.

Jaypaw glanced towards her mentor. He was a scarred tom with one ear. His expression broke into a toothy grin, and he stalked up to Jaypaw. She shuddered, remembering the comments on the tom who was called harsh, strict and mean. Jaypaw glanced to Winterpaw, envious that she had gotten the leader has her mentor. She pushed the feeling away and stared up at Creekshade. "What are we doing today?" She asked, forcing herself to remain calm.

"We're exploring the territory." His voice was icy, and his eyes were narrowed to slits.

"Is Winterpaw coming?" Jaypaw asked, but couldn't budge the feeling of jealousy that writhed in her stomach.

"All of them are coming," He replied coolly.

"Oh." Jaypaw scowled, thinking about Spiderpaw's taunting again. She shifted her paws awkwardly, until she caught sight of Ravenpaw trotting over. "I'm coming too," He meowed, glancing to Creekshade for approval. The warrior only shrugged and padded away, leaving Jaypaw to scamper after him.

* * *

Jaypaw returned to Camp drowsily, trudging to the apprentice den. Her eyes drooped, and she felt terribly worn out an sleepy. Winterpaw had somehow managed to fall asleep on Ravenpaw's back, and was being carried by the apprentice to her nest. They had left during the exploring, and had taken some different route somewhere. Winterpaw was all chirpy at the time, and was giggling like mad. She had dragged Ravenpaw by the tail to some place of their own, and wouldn't let Jaypaw follow. Saying it was for "The big cats".

_But I'm the same age as her!_

Jaypaw growled to herself, and remembered the feeling of her heart sinking when Ravenpaw laughed along with Winterpaw, the two of them leaving Jaypaw behind. But it wasn't only that she was left behind by her 'sister', it was something different.

Jaypaw padded over to her new nest, and curled up. She glanced to Winterpaw, who had just woken up. The she-cat slipped into her nest, and instantly grabbed Ravenpaw's tail. Jaypaw felt envy coursing through her veins, and tried her hardest to push it away, but it didn't work. Ravenpaw grinned, and pulled his nest closer to Winterpaw, allowing her to fall asleep with his tail in between her paws.

Jaypaw couldn't force herself enough to look away, and gritted her teeth to hold in a hiss, but didn't manage, and hissed under her breath. In her fortune, no one had heard her, and she tucked her muzzle under her paw and forced herself to sleep.


	3. Pain

_Dawn of Shadows and Heartache_

_Chapter Three: Pain_

* * *

Jaypaw woke to the murmuring of Ravenpaw. She opened one eye to see that Winterpaw was gone from her nest, and Ravenpaw still asleep. He whispered something to himself, the words almost inaudible. Jaypaw shuffled closer, and perked her ears, listening intently. Her eyes flew wide when she managed to hear what he was saying.

"Winterpaw...Winterpaw...Winterpaw..." He murmured under his breath, in his sleep. Jaypaw's breathing grew quick, and her eyes narrowed at once. She knew what she was feeling all along. She knew she had liked him all this time, she just couldn't understand this feeling. The envy and sorrow welled up in her veins, and her tail lashed crossly. She felt her heart thump, and she couldn't budge. Winterpaw padded into the den, carrying a rabbit in her jaws.

"Ravenpaw!" She chirped, prodding him with a paw. "I caught a rabbit for you!"

Ravenpaw jerked to his paws. "Huh...?" He asked sleepily. Winterpaw purred and placed a rabbit at his paws. "While you were sleeping I left to hunt for you," She smiled, and gestured to the rabbit. Ravenpaw purred, and nuzzled Winterpaw. "Thanks," He grinned. Jaypaw couldn't stay to watch this any longer, and bolted out the den. Her heart racing, and her eyes wide. She dashed further, inching off to the bushes that enclosed Jaypaw from the rest of the Clan.

_Maybe they are just great friends. Oh for StarClan's sake, Jaypaw, that wasn't anywhere near friendship!_

She shut her eyes and scoped out the memory, shivering and shuddering, she dug her claws into the ground. Her tail twisting around her in hope to calm herself down, but all attempts failed, and she remained breathing heavily with her heart thumping.

_I need to go back. I need to._

Jaypaw rose to her paws, and stumbled out of the bushes. She crouched to the ground, and crept to the apprentice den. She felt the burning stares of the Clan cats shower her fur, but she pretended like she was training and prowled closer to the den. She felt the gazes lift off her back, and rose to her paws, peering into the apprentice den silently.

"Thanks for the rabbit, Winterpaw," Ravenpaw's voice echoed around the den, he was obviously tired, but his voice was kind and polite. Jaypaw felt the jealousy in her stomach return and writhe for escape. "No problem," Winterpaw replied.

_They didn't even notice I was gone!_

Jaypaw trotted into the apprentice den, and glanced to the two smiling apprentices. "Winterpaw!" A call arose through the clearing of Camp. Winterpaw jerked to her paws, and padded out the den. "Coming!" She yowled back, and Jaypaw recognized her mentor, Leafstar's voice. Jaypaw felt the reoccurring envy spin in her veins, but this time it wasn't about Ravenpaw. It was about the mentors.

Jaypaw hissed to herself, and padded over to Winterpaw before she left. She nudged her 'sister'. "I know what I feel about Ravenpaw, now. I know it." Jaypaw murmured to her. Winterpaw glanced over to Jaypaw, and cocked her head. "I like him, Winterpaw. I do," She whispered to her 'sister'. Winterpaw shrugged. "Like _that_?Well, he's great, I get it," Winterpaw grinned, just as Leafstar yowled her name again. Jaypaw watched Winterpaw trot away, and questions flooded her head, but she twisted around, and headed back over to Ravenpaw, who was staring blankly at the bones of the rabbit that remained on the ground. Jaypaw smiled. "Hi," She greeted him. Ravenpaw grinned, lifting his muzzle as a greeting. Jaypaw noticed the dirt that cloaked his fur, and nudged it. "You're so dirty!" She exclaimed. Ravenpaw only shrugged, "Nah..."

Jaypaw smirked and groomed his fur on her own. "Fine, I'll clean it," She purred softly. "Want to play a game after?" Jaypaw asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, sure, why not?" Ravenpaw nodded, and rose to his paws. Jaypaw scurried backwards, and crouched down. She sprang forwards once he stepped out of the den, and thrust him to the ground. She pinned him down, grinning with delight, a slight purr rumbling in her throat. Ravenpaw writhed underneath her grip, laughing. Ravenpaw suddenly twisted her around, and managed to pin her instead. "Hmph!" He exclaimed.

Jaypaw paused, and stared up at Ravenpaw. She gazed into his eyes, and saw the twinkle and spark of the icy blue. She gulped, feeling his connecting gaze with her own. She had never stared this long at a cat before, but she couldn't turn away. Movement in his eyes reflected Jaypaw, and she twisted away, realizing how weird she had probably looked doing that.

"S-Sorry..." Jaypaw managed to choke out. Ravenpaw cleared his throat. "It's fine," He replied calmly.

"Look, Ravenpaw, I know this is hard for you. I-I know you like Winterpaw...But you don't understand that it's harder for me..." Jaypaw felt pain squeezing at her lungs, and she couldn't breathe. This is what it felt like to lose love, right? Ravenpaw was just making her like him more, but it was obvious he had fallen in love with Winterpaw.

"I heard you say her name in your sleep, I heard her conversation with...you, R-Ravenpaw." Jaypaw whispered hoarsely.

Ravenpaw's ears began to back up, twisting around like some noise was behind them. "Jaypaw-"

Jaypaw didn't bother to stay, and whirled around. She dashed out of Camp, and raced as far as she could.

She just wanted to be alone.

* * *

**Any thoughts?**

**I don't know if JayxRaven should actually happen, since this is based off a role-play.**

**WinterxRaven maybe...**

**HELP GUYS! HELP ME CHOOSE!**

**The next chapter may be Winterpaw or Ravenpaw's P.O.V. You guys need to choose for me with both questions.**

**Please review one!**


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